Do you have a problem child on your hands? Are you struggling to understand or interact with your children better? With Positive Living’s helpful tips, you can improve your parent-child relationship and strengthen your bond.
- Create a safe environment: Cultivate a space where your children feel free to express themselves and have enough breathing space without feeling monitored or told what to do at all times.
- Connect before you correct: Ask yourself this: What is my child trying to express by acting out in this manner? It is important to understand the psyche of your child and accept that they don’t yet have the capacity to rationalise everything logically, hence, at times, they are expressing their emotions through unruly behaviour. They need co-regulation from an adult guardian who would understand them better and form a strong bond with them.
- Allow a judgement-free space at home: Your children should feel secure and comfortable enough to bring their problems and dilemmas to you without the fear of being judged, shamed, or lectured. Practising attunement (active listening and empathy) is key for the child to know that they can always come to you for advice and support.
- Embrace your child’s authenticity: Instead of projecting your ideas to who you want your children to be, accept the fact that they are individuals, with their own talents & gifts, interests, and feelings. Try to help them be the best version of their unique selves.
- Unconditional love: This might sound cliché, however, it’s more important and rare than you might think. Love your child with no conditions, stipulations, or expectations. Remember that it was you who brought the child into this world voluntarily, they never asked to come here and they don’t owe you anything, so give them the love, guidance, and care they need but remember that it’s not a favour, but something you enjoy. This kind of love will do wonders in strengthening your bond with your child.
- Be present and emotionally available for your child: Find time in your daily schedule to be with your child, even if it isn’t for very long. Choose quality over quantity, no distractions, no phone, no work. Your presence alone helps your child feel grounded and valued.
- Conscious discipline: Lead by example. It is important and healthy to set boundaries and consequences. However, children tend to respond better if the boundaries are fair, realistic, and consistent. Your child will actually respect you for these and follow where you lead.
- Allow your child to make mistakes: Making mistakes is how we learn in life. We spend too much time worrying that our children will repeat our mistakes, but that is the only way. Allowing your child to experience pain and discomfort will give them resilience and wisdom. Don’t mistake protection with making your child co-dependent on you, your child deserves to grow with your support but without any enmeshment.
- Be a constant active listener: A good parent is a good listener. Don’t just hear what they have to say, try to be fully present and empathise with what they are saying and expressing, this is a good way to build trust.
- Provide a guilt-free environment at home: Do not shame your child whenever they make mistakes, rather show them compassion and lift them up every time you see them falling.
- Cooperate with them: Model collaboration skills at home and outside, and teach them the importance of working in tandem towards something bigger than themselves.
At Positive Living, we offer a variety of therapeutic sessions to help you get on the path to happiness and success. If this is an issue you would like our help with, contact us now.
