Maybe you’re having marital trouble, or maybe things are fine but you feel they could be better. Either way, if you want to make a positive change in your domestic life, here are 10 pointers for you to follow:
- Encourage Couple Growth: It is natural for people to feel comfortable just the way they are, sometimes changes seem uncomfortable and scary, yet life is impermanent and we must adapt and embrace change, especially supporting positive changes within you and your partner. If you think about it, you aren’t exactly who you were a long time ago, so why would your spouse be? Remember the recipe for a happy, long-lasting, good-quality relationship is allowing growth for both individuals in the relationship.
- Allow Safety To Express Vulnerability: Let emotions and perspectives be expressed without fear of judgment! Be each other’s safe space to express yourselves freely and openly. You’ll be surprised at how much stronger your bond gets once you’ve seen each other’s vulnerability.
- Active Communication Is Key: Don’t just talk, also attune, connect, and actively listen to what your partner is trying to express. They would need your validation, and sometimes, even a mirroring of what has been said to be sure the message has been understood. Active listening is done with ears of compassion, empathy, and tolerance, and without the need for shaming or scolding. It’s not a debate, good communication is a compassionate conversation.
- Accept Your Partner’s Authenticity: Nobody is perfect, not even you! Accept that your spouse with their flaws, as their personality adaptations could be a survival mechanism that was given to them from their childhood experiences. These limitations can be healed with the right approach and with the help of a conscious, supportive, loving partner. That’s why you have each other, to strike a balance.
- Set Your Vision / Mission As A Couple: Who are you as a couple? How do you complement each other? You have your individual life goals, what about the joint ones? Map out collective goals that fulfil each other’s needs and plan together as to how you can both work towards achieving your basic needs equally and fairly.
- Embrace Each Other’s Authenticity: Find the things that make you unique, share your findings with your partner and be curious about them too. Embrace what sets you apart, while also embracing your partner’s authenticity. Support the ‘enough-ness’ in each of you.
- Create Healthy Boundaries With Each Other: Your partner is not your punching bag, nor is that your therapist. However, you can still be each other’s support and confidant as you slowly but surely make the effort to heal and take responsibility to recover from your inner wounds and trauma. The experience gets easier when you know you have someone beside you.
- Make the Relationship A Safe Arena: Trust one another, and trust yourself to not project your insecurities and self-doubt onto one another. Relationships should not have to be in a constant state of fear.
- Embody Your Vision: If you can see it, you can be it. Have a clear mission for your future as a couple and make it happen.
- Self-actualisation: A natural conclusion to all your efforts, you’ll reach your full potential, both as individuals and as a couple!
At Positive Living, we offer a variety of therapeutic sessions to help you get on the path to happiness and success. If this is an issue you would like our help with, contact us now.
